Second Year in UM

I thought the first year in UM was difficult to write. The second year is a drag. I am starting to think that writing each year in UM is a bad idea.

In my honest opinion, the second year is the most boring out of 4 years in UM. There were a lot of studying because we had to learn all the classes of drugs in 1 year plus we had to sit for tests for almost every week. INSANE.

All I remember about the second year was struggling to juggle my life and my study. Like the real dilemma was going back home every weekend yet scoring all the tests. What a struggle. Truthfully, I was feeling insecure with my classmates who came from top schools in the country and getting 4 flat during their foundation year.

You can literally see it in their eyes how bad they wanted to get an A while all I wanted was to just get by, well, at least initially. However, as I soon learned that most of these people were from those really super smart, super strict, top schools where as I am just from a normal high school, not even an SBP or MRSM, I was motivated to beat all of them.

Back in high school, I didn't know there were such things as top ranking schools so I didn't know any school except for the schools in my town. It was surprising for me to see them get so attached to their high school while I could hardly remember my own teacher's name. At that point, I wanted to prove that I could beat at their hardcore level of studying and beat the shit out of their test scores while still maintaining going back home every weekend where they complained they couldn't study if they were at home. (See? That's what boarding school does to you after 5 years. I would never send my children to one of those result-orientated schools.)

I thought I did a decent job of showing that in terms of academic. I love my second-year subjects especially antibiotic drugs because we had this one lecturer who was really laid back and kept 'hinting' at us of what will come out in the exam.

Personally, the second year was the time I started to try to adapt to changes. Back in the first year, I was inseparable with A but like every friendship, they never last. Well. Not that I don't consider her as my friend but someone came in between our inseparableness. Get it? HINT HINT IT'S A BOY.

It wasn't like we were fighting over a boy. Heck, we weren't even fighting. It's just that I felt like I was slowly being replaced. I didn't realize it until I was in the third year. That's how insidious it is. By the time I realized I was being replaced, there was no salvation to our inseparableness. At least in my point of view. I still considered her as my friend but I was being really awkward with her by the time we reached final year. To be honest, I was okay with that. I was okay and content with our current state of friendship. See how mature I have become? Like if this was 5 years ago, I would have ditched her and see her as a stranger. So whenever someone mentioned that we were bestfriend, I'll be like, 'Yeah, only during first year :/'.

Sometimes I think one of the reasons it came to this situation is because of one college project. This project which I was dragged into. It was the project I would have avoided but I couldn't because A and C were begging me to join.

The whole project was against my principle which is the bullshit that is people trying to motivate others. Also, this college project showed me how boring life would be if I had attended these boarding schools. Almost everyone wanted to be doctors and engineers and you could feel the burden to score straight As in SPM. So much burden and expectation were put upon these kids. It was suffocating for me to watch honestly.

I suffered so much through this project. I didn't get along with anyone in this project because they weren't my type of people I would hang with. I would have avoided them in real life. You know who else I tried to avoid? The boy who got in between my friendship with A. It's not like I hate him but I also don't like him. This college project got me stuck with this fella in one bureau. They say love is blind. In this case, that seems to be the truth. Enough said.

Moving on to another important event in the second year of UM, the RxQuiz which is when UM was the host. It was weirdly nice because I thought I would have hated this event but I enjoyed it. Because of that one guy :')

The funny thing is I like this event because this guy got me bonded with some of my classmates. One of them is D. D was someone whom I thought was religious and I don't get along that well with religious people. I never noticed her until this event and because of the guy. We had bonded over a guy. It's ironic how one guy can ruin a friendship but another guy can build a friendship.

I like her because she reminds me a lot of Qila. Someone who gets really worked up over small things, can take any jab/insult from me and doesn't really get clingy. I like that kind of people. The people who I called floaters because they don't get close to anyone. D also has become someone I confided to during my final year. Surprisingly we were close enough we even went to Sabah together last month. :')

The last event worth mentioning and if not, the most important is Rehlah. It's an annual event where the Malays in UM Pharmacy get together. Like a mini family day. I hate family day. I have succeeded avoiding all the Rehlahs except for this year. That's only because we, the whole class were the organiser.

I didn't specifically enjoy this event but something happened during this period that changed how I am for the upcoming years.We spent one of the precious weekends (where there were no tests looming over us) at Bagan Lalang. Back then, I was sorta still inseparable with A and both of us weren't looking forward to this trip. We actually look up for hotels nearby to ditch this event.

I didn't really have any other girls I was close with aside from A. So I actually felt really dependent towards A. At that time, A fell sick. I had a horrible feeling that she was going to ditch me here, in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strangers for the whole weekend.

I cannot describe how I dreaded the moment she told me her boyfriend was picking her up and send her home. That meant I had to sleep here by myself with no one I know. Looking back, I was being really dramatic because it's just for one night but I don't like being left out while everyone else has their own group of friends. I don't want to go through matriculation earlier days again.

Then, someone told me this.
It was after we went to the beach where I sulked and this one girl came up to me. E came up to me and told me something I thought I really need to hear at that time. I can't, for the life of me remember exactly what she told me but it went something like this; 'You don't have to be alone, you got a lot of friends here, we're here.'

I think that was the start of how I looked at university life differently. How you asked? I will have to explain that in my third year also known as my favourite part of university life. Much fun.