I'm Twenty Three

Status: In before IU's 23 song
Song: Whatta Man by I.O.I
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I promised myself last year, I would be listening to IU's 23 when I turn 23. So here it is; (for better understanding, enable your caption)


Last year when this song was released, I felt like it spoke to me. Like yes to:
A bunch of twenty three
Now becomes little feminine
Trust me moderately if I pretend to be a grown up
AND definitely, YAAAASS to this:
Oh right I want to be in love
No I rather make money
Try to guess
I think after turning 21, I wrongly assume everything would make sense since I am legally an adult now.

Boy, was I wrong. Even at 23, I'm still trying to be adult when I know jack shit. I'm just a twentysomething person who is still a child.

At least by 23, I'm done with university life. That's a huge achievement there. How many people out there can say that? Not that many, I tell you.
Now, there's just 'work till you die' phase of my life.

What else is there to life?

You know what I have not achieved when everyone of my age has? A boyfriend. At 23, I have never ever had a boyfriend in my life.

The high school me would have been disappointed in me for not landing myself a boyfriend by the time I graduate. High school me probably thinks I'm a loser right now.

I'm sorry, 14 years old me. I'm still the same 16 years old me who find Korean boys cute and have zero social grace.

This level of loserness smh.


On a side note, I know this is an unpopular opinion among my local peers. I know everyone around me wants someone aka significant other to last until marriage.

I know you're supposed to date someone with the end goal of marriage. Like that's the morally good thing to do.

But I'm not always morally good.
I'm not a morally good person most of the times anyway.

Because I am still the same 14 years old kid who is afraid of commitments and thinks that wedding sucks balls. Like why waste so much money when you can splurge on a 5 star hotel for your honeymoon???

At 23, I just want to experience the whole dating scene like texting until late at nights though that might annoy me. Or go out on dates with dinner and stuff. Or receiving present on my birthday from a guy though I always do lol. Or getting into huge fight over dramatic things. Or going through a heartbreak from the breakup.

I don't want to jump straight into marriage. I am not at that level of wanting to wake up next to the same person every day. I'm not ready for that.

I'm probably romanticising the idea of boyfriend but I think it would be nice for once, to like someone and that feeling is being reciprocated.
To actually be able to talk about anything and nothing at the same time.
To actually enjoy in the company of someone.
To actually listen to love songs and is reminded of that someone. :')
To also listen breakup songs and is reminded of that someone too. :')

Okay. I admit it. I must have read too many love stories and Korean drama but I want it so baddddd. D;

That sounded desperate but come on guys, at 23, my nonexistent love life is kind of alarming in this decade.

Also, I may or may not have been watching too much How I Met Your Mother. No thanks to my sister who watches it every day. I think living as one of the characters in HIMYM is my ultimate dream goal lol.

But seriously.
For once in my life, I just want to answer all my friends' most frequently asked question with a yes; 'Do you have/had a boyfriend?'

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