I Like You, Maybe I'm Just Like You

Status: I am watching too many Korean drama.
Song: Just Impolite by Plushgun

I was watching this drama all my girl friends were raving about.

It was enjoyable until it got heavy on the romance. Then it hit me, 'ah this would never happen to me'.

After that I got all emo about my single life because of course it could never happen to me; I got no man.

Aside from that, it got me thinking that Korean dramas have set up a high expectation of romance for single ladies (like me).

I mean does romance even exists outside Instagram, drama and viral videos?

We got all this viral post of guy doing insane things for the girl he loves. And all these single ladies will tweet about it with a hashtag #relationshipgoals and crying emoji.

And all those pictures of lovey-dovey couples and faceless boyfriends/girlfriends on Instagram with caption that made other girls swoon which I bitterly liked.

To be honest, I, myself never believe in romance but binge-watching K-dramas got me thinking twice about that stance.

I mean it's not like I'm expecting a big grand gesture of 'I love you' with expensive foods and gifts from a good looking guy.

Or one of those Korean dramas cliches where a guy hugs you from behind in the rain and said, 'Saranghae'.

It be nice just to have someone confessing to me under an umbrella (~you can stand under my umbrella ella ella eh eh~), whispering things like, 'When I do picture myself happy, it's with you.' (Winchester, 2010)

I'm being slightly delusional. I know that but it's better than a guy asking his friend to confess to the girl he likes because what is manhood am I right?? This is an actual typical Malay real life love story I've seen and I've experienced.

If you like someone but you're too scared to confess directly to them. It really shows how much effort you would do to take it to the next step with that person.

I like my man to be able to say whatever they want which leads to my evolution of Ideal Man prerequisite.

When I was 14, my ideal man was rich, looked like Jensen Ackles, and funny.

When I was 17, my ideal man was rich, dying old man and it be nice if he looks like Pak Lah. Y'all know PL was the most handsome PM we ever had.  I was planning to be a gold-digger by the time I finish high school.

Now, at 23, my ideal man is just a guy who will withstand my mood swings, my self-loathing, the uncomfortable silence and someone who can make me laugh or someone who will laugh at my jokes. I like my man with a sense of humor. I like guy who can sometimes go 'YOLO' with me and deal with consequence later.

See how mature I have become.
I just cast aside the superficial requirement.
It's something I have learned over the years of looking at others love life.

But as a mature person, I know that things don't go as planned. Me of all the people should know better than that. That's why I hate planning things out.

Maybe I won't get my ideal man.
Maybe I'll end up with a guy who has zero sense of humor and don't think my jokes are funny.

Or worse, maybe I have to marry a guy who likes outdoor activities and post hipster pictures on Instagram. That's like the worst case scenario.

No. Wait. The worst would be ending up with someone who doesn't like to eat outside and hates fast food. Which is the worst human ever, where's your humanity??

Maybe I'll end up all alone. But then I can achieve my dream to build a cat sanctuary and finally become the crazy cat lady.

Maybe I am not matured enough to be experiencing of having a significant other. I mean, compared to other girls out there, I don't even wear makeup.

I certainly don't have fashionable taste in clothes.

I sometimes, go out without brushing my hair. That's how high the level of my laziness in grooming.

If you ask me personally if I ever felt insecure whenever I looked at my friends and their complete transformation into a woman, I would say yes.

I wonder how did they decided to become a woman and make efforts to look pretty?
Is there a secret club I'm not in?

Truthfully, I have no idea why I'm writing this. I think it's just the leftover thoughts I had while watching too many K-dramas. All those so-called romantic scenes finally got to me.

Also you know what is the most annoying thing about romance drama?

It's the nice guys finish last concept they're implying in every drama I have watched.
You got a total cutie who always give you the best advice, listens to you and comfort you when you're at the lowest. But the second the douchebag treats you nice, you completely forget about that nice cutie who went through shit for you.
Fucking Boys Over Flower where the heroine doesn't even look like a student. SMH.

Seriously, I don't see it. I don't see any reason why I would want to be with a guy who made me cry and feel like shit when I got a perfectly nice guy waiting for me (still bitter over Dan/Blair).

This post has zero direction. I just ranted about what I hate the most in K-drama; pointless love triangle.

Anyway, this reminds me I need to wash away all this K-drama remnants with my favourite cannibalistic tv show, Hannibal.

In all seriousness, honestly, I don't want a man who I have to stand behind and be content living in his shadow.

I want a man who I can stand side by side and not afraid to call out on our bullshit because that's what a relationship or marriage should be and no one can tell me otherwise.