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Showing posts from 2016

2016: Year In Review

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Status: 2016 is running for the worst year in the 2010s.
Song: Fuck It by BIGBANG. This post was made as half-assed as this song was made.
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Every year I make this obligatory post which I don't really see the point of it anymore. It's for fun though.

For previous year posts, refer here,here, here, here and here.
It's like as years gone by, the worse they gotten. Political wise, entertainment wise and personal life have just gotten worse as the year progressed. Who would have thought Trump won the Presidential election? Just proving what kind of shitty people live in the US.
Or almost all kpop groups (4Minute, KARA, Rainbow, 2NE1) from my era disbanded?


Pop Culture of 2016 This is a special section because I love the drama and the tea being spilled in 2016. I could only hope 2017 brings me more tea.
1. First off, queen of being overexposed, Taylor Swift. She broke up with Calvin Harris which was messy but then the whole …

Dream Post #1 - I Don't Wanna Feel Nothing

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Last night, I couldn't sleep. I sincerely think I'm having bouts of insomnia these past months.

The worst thing about not being able to sleep is you are left to your own thoughts. Sometimes, that very same own thoughts are your worst enemy.

It could lead you to think life isn't worth living anymore and future is a terrifying uncharted course.

That is what exactly happened last night. Hundred times of tossing and turning couldn't get me to doze off.

I started to realise that I had nothing to look forward. I can't feel anything anymore. The future seemed so bleak right now. I don't see myself doing anything in the future.

It was so depressing that I don't even cry anymore.

Then somehow, I fell asleep after feeling like shit.

This dream felt so real. I was at an LRT station. I was going to search for a job but no one wanted me.
As someone who is introverted, getting rejected after gatheri…

In 5 Years Time

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Status: In 5 years time, you might just prove me wrong.
Song: 5 Years Time by Noah and the Whale
__________________________________________________________________ I have wanted to write this kind of post ever since this video was made. I miss this show.





I actually had written halfway through another post called, 'To The Future Me' but then I lost the inspiration to write it. For your information, I have 50 unfinished drafts saved on this blog. So yeah I can never see things to the end.
To the 5 years old me, I bet your short experience with the outside world traumatised you so much that you skipped one whole year worth of kindergarten days.You may wonder why you can't get along with other stupid kids. You may feel sad when other kids were playing around while you just stare from afar.
I want to say I'm sorry but you will always be the quiet girl. This will follow you everywhere you go and people will never understand us. You don't even know why you turned out this…

Please Say You Won't Let Go // The Final Year

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Song to listen: Shake It Out by Florence and The Machine


As I write this post, few days have passed since my graduation ceremony ended. There is nothing more I hate than goodbyes.
There are so many things I have wanted to say to these people. There things I want to show them. There are secrets and thoughts I want to share with. There are still some jokes left I want to tell them.
There is just so many things I have not done with them.I don't know what to do with this feeling. I was not ready for this graduation to come so soon.I don't know if I want to seek future without any of you by my side.How come all of you are moving on so fast, leaving me behind in this race?
How am I supposed to catch up when you're miles away?_________________________________________________________________________
Final year
It's the year of stress, frustration, and everything in between.
You don't understand the struggle until you experience final year.It's the point where you no longer ca…

The Third Year in UM

Third year was my favourite part of UM because this was how university life should be. Drama, meeting new people, and a lot of late night outings with just the right balance of studying.

I finally have a taste of what it's like to be a person with normal social life at my age. I don't think I regret anything during my third year.

In terms of academics, it was my golden era if I do say so myself. I think it's because I like solving problems and clinical subjects were exactly that with their case questions. That was my favourite because it always gets complicated but not complicated enough for me to not see the answers most of the time.

Honestly, I have been scoring surprisingly well because of C. I like challenges so when C declared he wanted to beat me in test scores, I was like mentally motivated to accept the challenge. For the next two years of my UM life, my end goal was to beat him haha which I did by landing myself on Dean's List in my first semester of third ye…

Food that Offends Me

Status: Unemployed and loving it.
Song: Russian Roulette by Red Velvet.
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When I was a child, I used to be a very picky eater. I just can't comprehend eating rice every day. They always tasted dull to me.That's because I put the side dishes on the side instead of onto the pile of rice like a normal Malaysian would do.

Fast forward to several years, I'm less picky towards food. I sometimes see food as a source of energy/chore instead of a thing you enjoy in life. Like I can't tell any difference between any spaghetti bolognese I've ever tasted. Therefore, I don't have a favourite pasta dish.

It's a well-known fact that I don't eat vegetables nor fruits. I'm a living nightmare for all those health-conscious people out there. Like this might affect me 20 years later but YOLO and life is too short to not enjoy junk food.

So, recently on Hari Raya Haji, we went to visit one of our relative'…

Second Year in UM

I thought the first year in UM was difficult to write. The second year is a drag. I am starting to think that writing each year in UM is a bad idea.


In my honest opinion, the second year is the most boring out of 4 years in UM. There were a lot of studying because we had to learn all the classes of drugs in 1 year plus we had to sit for tests for almost every week. INSANE.


All I remember about the second year was struggling to juggle my life and my study. Like the real dilemma was going back home every weekend yet scoring all the tests. What a struggle. Truthfully, I was feeling insecure with my classmates who came from top schools in the country and getting 4 flat during their foundation year.

You can literally see it in their eyes how bad they wanted to get an A while all I wanted was to just get by, well, at least initially. However, as I soon learned that most of these people were from those really super smart, super strict, top schools where as I am just from a normal high school…

I'm Twenty Three

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Status: In before IU's 23 song
Song: Whatta Man by I.O.I
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I promised myself last year, I would be listening to IU's 23 when I turn 23. So here it is; (for better understanding, enable your caption)


Last year when this song was released, I felt like it spoke to me. Like yes to:
A bunch of twenty three
Now becomes little feminine
Trust me moderately if I pretend to be a grown up AND definitely, YAAAASS to this:
Oh right I want to be in love
No I rather make money
Try to guess
I think after turning 21, I wrongly assume everything would make sense since I am legally an adult now.

Boy, was I wrong. Even at 23, I'm still trying to be adult when I know jack shit. I'm just a twentysomething person who is still a child.

At least by 23, I'm done with university life. That's a huge achievement there. How many people out there can say that? Not that many, I tell you.
Now, there's just 'work till you die' phase of my…

The First Year in UM

Since I will be officially graduating this October, I thought to myself, 'why don't I write something very personal about UM?'.
Therefore, this is going to be my first part of reminiscing the UM days :')
I'm going to touch on every aspect of UM life including academic, social, and personal feelings. Like I am going to be honest about it. Like there's no censoring on what I feel. I won't name people's names, though.

Truthfully, I can't remember what really happened back when I first entered UM. All I know is that I get to go back home every weekend and that's all that matters.

Back then, choosing UM isn't because it's the number 1 university in the country but because it's the nearest to home. I couldn't live another year in nowheresville. I need my dose of a lively city so I can feel alive and, wifi.

Until today, I don't regret choosing UM. Pharmacy? Sorta regret but UM, never.

Writing the first year post is really tough lol.…

Structure Activity Relationship Between You and Me

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Status: I miss you.
Song: Tomorrow by Han Hee Jung. This song is everything.
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Guys.
I did it.
I can't believe this.

I thought the day would have never come. It had felt like forever.

The last few days had been me trying to push through and jump over every hurdle coming at me.
Every time I was taking a break, I had imagined what it would feel like to finally getting this fyp or final year research project submitted.

Most of the time I had imagined myself in Taeyeon's place. Telling everyone else to go screw themselves and steal someone's car keys. Then, possibly drive to the ocean and meet my other hippie half. Pharmacy what? UM whu?


Of course, that did not happen. 
In reality, I was dead tired after printing my fyp and helping my friends print out their dissertations.
Nevertheless, the smile on my face after letting all of that go had never left.
Gosh, it had felt like every burden that has been haunting me in every n…

How To Write 101 For Dummies

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Status: When you are going through a phase that really urge you to cut your hair ;')
Song: Without You by NCT-U. I'm trash for SM boys with similar voice.
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What I hate the most about my blog is the fact that people are talking about my average English level like I am William Shakespeare. I am not by the way. Just letting you all know that.

My grammar is slightly better than most of my peers but that's because I read more than any of my friends had when I was a child.

The only difference between me and the next person is my style of writing.

Firstly, I did not start writing like this.

Emphasizing on the fact that I grew up reading a lot. A lot in, 'I spent most of my weekend in this small rent-a-book store in Subang.'

One of the things I have picked up from all these reading was recognizing the style of people's writing and incorporating it in my own writing.

It's like one of my special skills. …

10 Things You Didn't Know About Me

Status: This is a very self absorbed post.
Song: Work by Rihanna. Werk werk werk. _________________________________________________________________

I once imagined myself hosting that show on History Channel called 10 Things You Didn't Know.

Only instead of American history, it was about me.



1. My dad named me after a journalist.
True story. I even took an effort to find what kind of article this person has written. 
2. My go to song when I get sad or happy or homesick is Queen's Don't Stop Me Now.
Any Queen songs are soothing to my soul. I personally think Queen has successfully gotten me through matriculation days. It was hard living in a place that no one has ever heard of and no wifi. I'm not sure how I even survived those days without WiFi. 
3. The only book I have re-read is Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's.
This may sounds weird but I cannot re-read a book. I don't see the point of suffering through a same story. Except for Breakfast at Tiffany&#…