This is my Coup D'etat

Status: Hey. How is it going in here?
Song: Lies by BIGBANG. YEAH LOVE IS PAIN.
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It's been awhile, hasn't it?

*casually bae appears*
















I was actually going to put this blog to rest. You know like casually abandoning it and discover it again 10 years later which I'm going to cringe over everything I've wrote.

The reason I haven't been updating is because I have been on writer's block for months.

It's insane. When I'm in shower, the idea is overflowing but as soon as I step out, I forgot all about it.

Also I spent an hour trying to find the right Seungri gif for this post. Talk about being the master at procrastinate.


TIME SURE DOES FLY IN HERE.

Last post, I was a third year student. This post, I'm a final year student. See how huge the gap is between these 2 posts?

I'm pretty sure I still don't know if I'm taking the right course or I'm choosing the right university or friends or anything.

So far, final year has been rough.
Most of the time, I feel like a truck has hit me repeatedly with all these independent decisions that I am not in the right state of mind to be doing.

BAM. Choose FYP title by this week.
BAM. Find a case to clerk in my special place in hell, pediatric ward also known as screaming sick children.
BAM. Find money for my special activity in hell, sports.
BAM. All the makciks and friends gave me a deadline to find a boyfriend by the time I graduate.


Okay. Maybe the last one was not THAT important but definitely the one which haunts my mind every now and then.

Because on the last post, I was head over heels with China last man standing in EXO, Zhang Yixing but now I'm in delusional state of mind over the most average member of BIGBANG, Seungri. (It's true, my standard of men has been on decline; just like RM value)

How am I supposed to remain liking one person for the rest of my life???

How am I even know which is the right decision (or man) to be made?

I am not mentally ready for this adult lifehood.

Last week, I had some sort of emotional breakdown. I felt like I missed out on a lot of things for the past 22 years of my life especially on how I was during my teen years.

At one point, I started to miss my high school friends and replaying some of the memorable conversations that defined me who I am today.

It's the worst. Because by then, I wanted to go and make contact with that person again when in reality both of us aren't the same person we were in high school.


Basically, I tried to avoid adulthood by reminiscing my teenage life.

Moral of the story, when you get lonely, find someone to talk to and don't try to think about the past too much.



The first 3 weeks of me as final year student is essentially Troy Bolton in HSM 3; confused and delusional.

I CAN'T CHOOSE, SO CONFUSED, WHAT'S IT ALL MEANS
I WANT MY OWN THING SO BAD I'M GONNA SCREAM
:O

I let you in on a secret; everytime I come across a life-changing event (PMR, SPM, College, JPA) in my life, I listen to Zac Efron's Scream.




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