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Showing posts from 2015

2015: Year In Review

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Status: What a bitchin year.
Song: Crooked by G-Dragon because TONIGHT WE'LL BE CROOKED TOGETHER
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Every year I make this obligatory post which is one of the few things I did during my study week.

For previous year posts, refer herehere,herehere and here.

2015 is ending soon. Never have I ever been so relief for a year to end like 2015.

Personally, 2015 is a year of relearning about myself and learning to let go of things.

As usual, I'm going to start the list with the easiest :
Songs of 2015 Again, reminding everyone that all of these songs do not represent high quality of artistry/musical talent nor were released in 2015 but they were the songs that held close to my heart. On a side note, I can't seem to leave k-pop. 
I by Taeyeon. The song that just keeps on giving and the song that brought me to tears on the first listen because I yearned so much to that level of peacefulness that Taeyeon sang.Stitches by Shawn Mendes. …

On the Final Year Road So Far Part 1

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Status: I will cherish this midsem break every second.
Song: I by Taeyeon. This song got me through a lot. :') I cried.
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I had thoughts of deleting the much depressing post below but then no one would know how I got over it. Do I still have the same thoughts after a month has passed?

The post I've written was on my significant college friend's birthday.  It was before I wished her.

The whole day I contemplated if I should wished her on her birthday.
Which was stupid of me to even think about. 'You have to wish her, it's what friends do.'

But that was my emotional breakdown loner phase.
I feared of rejection and what ifs. What if she changed her number? Does that mean I will lose contact with her forever? What if she ignores my text? What if she doesn't recognize my number? 

It was like an hour before midnight when I finally made up my mind to wish her.

I was 70% expecting her to not reply me and it would …

Of Loner and Friends

Status: Well, shit.
Song: Echo by Jason Walker. The essential loner song.
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I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
Like a fool at the top of my lungs
Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
But it's never enough - Echo, Jason Walker.

 Before anyone starts reading this, I just want to let you know this post is really personal for me. I have been wanting to write this for a very long time but I thought it was too dark and pathetic to be in this blog.

Which is another reason I should be making a private side blog. Just for me by me.
Anyway, if you want to read rantings of 22 years old with emotional capabilities of 17 years old emo,  please do.

This is my Coup D'etat

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Status: Hey. How is it going in here?
Song: Lies by BIGBANG. YEAH LOVE IS PAIN.
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It's been awhile, hasn't it?

















I was actually going to put this blog to rest. You know like casually abandoning it and discover it again 10 years later which I'm going to cringe over everything I've wrote.
The reason I haven't been updating is because I have been on writer's block for months.

It's insane. When I'm in shower, the idea is overflowing but as soon as I step out, I forgot all about it.

Also I spent an hour trying to find the right Seungri gif for this post. Talk about being the master at procrastinate.


TIME SURE DOES FLY IN HERE.

Last post, I was a third year student. This post, I'm a final year student. See how huge the gap is between these 2 posts?

I'm pretty sure I still don't know if I'm taking the right course or I'm choosing the right university or friends or anything.

So f…

Dreaming As An Adult

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Status: Fuck assignments. Procrastinate all the way.
Song: Why You'd Only Call Me When You're High by Arctic Monkeys.
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For those who care, I just got a car without asking for it.

It all started with my dad driving me back home to UM. On the way, we were driving behind a Myvi.

He casually asked me, "Will you be staying in college next year?"

"Hopefully, yes."

"Well, if you don't, I'm going to buy you a car."

My sister who was seating in the backseat, was stifling back a laugh.

This was like an inside joke between my mom, my sisters and me; that my Dad is the epitome of Janji Melayu. He said a lot of things but he never done anything about it.

A house in Putrajaya. LOL.
Renovate our house. LOL.
Trip to Australia last semester break. LOL HAHAHA IT'S NOT LIKE I'M STILL BITTER OR WHAT.

Of course, my dad went on and bought a car while I was in attending a class.

He's sent im…

This Will Make You Want To Read

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Status: My relationship goal would be Dan and Blair. Like how?? Meant to be??
Song: Call Me Baby by EXO. Like how?? So catchy??
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There are 2 ways to gain perspective. One is through past experience and another is through reading.

This whole post is to actually motivate me to read a book.

I used to read a lot when I was younger but at some point in my life, I started reading things online.

Now, when I look at a book, it sends me to sleep.

I have become the person I feared to be when I was a kid; an uncultured swine.

When I was a teen, I used to read a lot of novels.
I was not drawn to romance though.

I was drawn to pretty dark stuff.
My preferred readings were usually from the narrator's perspective.

It felt much more personal and intimate to me. When I read, I want to be the narrator.
I want to feel what the narrator is feeling.

Because of that, I gain perspective of things that other people don't.

For example, o…

You're So Classic Baby.

Status: Just watched HSM. How come I never have graduation event??
Song: What Kind Of Man by Florence+The Machine.
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A month ago (which doesn't feel like a month ago), I finally met up with my high school friends after 5 years. 5 years weh!

How time flies.

It seemed like not a lot have changed over those 5 years.

I had two high school related topics I want to write about (Truancy and Classic Moments) but I've chosen this one in particular because it was brought up on that semi-reunion dinner.

 Apparently I have a 'Classic Moment'.

Like an actual Suhaini trademark moments.

Somehow everytime I was talked about, these two moments in my life will always be brought up.

I swear I'm not making this shit up. They did called it, 'Suhaini Classic Moment'.


ONE Before this happened, I was an actual epitome of wallflower. I know how it feels like to be not be noticed by people. 
When I was 13, I was introduce…

Senpai Jinjja!

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Status: I have reached the next level of senpai.
Song: Riptide by Vance Joy. THIS SONG HURTS MY SOUL.
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I must be a hybrid between weaboo and koreaboo.


There was a time in my high school life, I thought I was Georgia Nicolson. Georgia Nicolson is a fictional character from a series of novels I was obsessed with.

I used French and British-English in normal conversation. Because slag sounded so much cool than slut.
I used made up word like maturiosity and randomiosity. I still do actually.
And vair was more unique than very.

I was literally trying to become a teenage girl in England.

HAHA. What a dumbass, I was.



Then I got into Korea and their aesthetic-obsessed culture. By that, I meant K-pop.
Have you ever watched a black and white k-pop music video? No?
Me either.

Have you seen unnaturally saturated colourful k-pop music video? It is so pretty,I cried.

At that point in my life, I taught myself Hangul and Korean language…