I'd Walk A 1000 Miles Just To See You Tonight PART 2

Status: Maybe Krubong is my Vienna.
Song: Vienna by Billy Joel.

It was like a punch to my gut today.

The song, Balik Kampung , no longer excites me but fills me with sorrowness and the yearning to actually balik kampung.

The day my grandmother passed away, it might as well be the day I could probably lose my kampung.

Something that never crosses my mind before this. I always take my kampung for granted.

During the last night in Krubong, we had a deep heartfelt conversation about our memories in Krubong.
Going to miss this house.


The place I used to be not so eager to go to. You could see my disdain days during my Raya post.

There was no Internet, no Astro and GPRS level of cellphone signal.

Everytime my Dad said we're going back to Malacca, we would groaned in frustration. The inevitable of boredom.

However, I didn't realize that one day I won't celebrate Raya in Krubong and that day is here.

I remember fondly of the day Sara got attacked by the mother hen while we were trying to steal the chicks.
Of course the chicks we stole were then got eaten by the cat.

I also remember the days when we used to shower together and it took so long that the adults scolded us.

Or the night where we have fireworks war with the neighbours.

It was also the place where we heard ghost stories that now I look back to seem ridiculous.

Atok getting rid of pontianak with a broomstick outside the house and the reason pontianak don't appear anymore is because all of them got electrocuted by the telephone cable. (LOL Pak Uda/Pak Usu)

She articulates it perfectly.

So many things have changed in this house.

Recently, Nenek told my uncle that she wanted Astro because, in her own words, "Aku nak jugak tengok tv gambar cantik. Dah bosan aku tengok tv gambar semut ni."

The next week, my uncle bought the Astro with plasma screen tv. 

This year too, she told my aunt that she was embarassed by my fathers' co-workers remark. 

"Diorang kata anak semua gaji besau  tapi sofa tak cantik. Malu aku."

My aunt then bought  a full set of leather sofas. 

It was hilarious back then but now, it seems sad that she didn't fully enjoyed these new things in the house. One of my older cousin even bought baju raya for her as she wanted a new set of baju raya but she didn't even manage to wear it.

This place had so many memories during Raya. 

We would anyam ketupat, cook rendang in this big pot and sometimes make dodol. The girls would start sampling the Raya biscuits and deciding which biscuits were to be put into the jar.We would hear fireworks and takbir Raya on the night before Raya.We would wake up very early on Raya to avoid lining up for shower.The big family picture would be taken after the Raya prayer.The duit Raya were given and the complaints from the adults about losing their money could be heard in the morning.Nenek would be the most eager one to give out the duit raya to her grandchildren.
It was pure Raya spirit. 

They said that you will never know what you have until it's gone.
This is what I feel right now. 

At early dawn, I woke up and I thought I heard my grandmother's voice as she was a very early morning person.

I was bracing for a loud voice to shout at us virgins to wake up.


But it didn't came. Mak Long was the one who woke us up. 

When it was time to go back, everything is cleaned up. The house looked empty. The doors to each room were locked. The windows were closed.
I keep expecting Nenek to nag at us on why we're leaving this house empty. 

My family and I were the last one to leave the house. It was very overwhelming to see the front door that usually was wide open in the day is closed and locked.

On my way home, Dad told us that he kept Nenek's ring and that the ring was given by our late grandfather to her when he had to become a soldier for the Japanese army.

He then told us that back in the days, they were very poor. They had to wear the school uniform as their Raya clothes because there were not enough money. Nenek and Mak Long were crying in the kitchen. 

I couldn't hold back the tears because I know how both of my grandparents were always donating money to their poor neighbors. I know how my grandfather always pick stray cats and bring them home. 

They were the nicest people I know who never forget their hard, poor past even though all of their children now are successful engineers, professor, directors, businessmen and teachers.

I'm sure they are proud to know that their grandchildren are also a doctor, a dentist, lawyers, engineers and more to come.

Mark Ruffalo (who lost his brother) once said
"You never get over it; you just get used to it."

I know that I'll never stop missing her. I just have to live with it.

The last time she asked me, "Nanti balik kampung bila?"

I answered, "Masa Raya nanti, Nek."

If she were alive, I'd be meeting her today, probably anyam ketupat with her.
I miss you.

Psst. Anis, I bet you can't write as long as mine. Ha-ha.