Obligatory Pre and Post Raya 2013 Post

Status: Why do I keep comparing myself to others?
Song: There Will Come A Time by Noah and The Whale.


I don't think people understands me because I just isolated myself from any social interaction.

The only person I talk regularly to is my cat and my mom.

A friend asked me out a month ago, I deliberately, unsuspectingly rejected his offer by delaying my response.

A friend also asked me to join her visiting my sick lecturer, I plainly, cruelly said no and now I'm with this huge guilt on my shoulder because my beloved lecturer passed away the next day. I think this might be one of the coldest thing I've ever done.

A classmate of mine asked my phone number so she could  contact me about pharmacy stuff and I reluctantly answered her an hour later.

I'm like the epitome of antisocial with zero sense of sympathy and hate people with a passion.

Now, Raya is looming near and I hate it with every fiber of my being. Recently, Raya has lost  its' meaning to me.

This year, I've decided to hate Raya. I just told my mom that I wished we won't go back to my dad's hometown so early because I didn't want to help them prepare the Raya dishes.



I did went back early.

I did helped them prepare the Raya.

I did it.

I finally did it.

I have officially become the woman that my mom want me to be.

I disappointed the inner rebellious male in me. I'm sorry alternate universe male!me.

I'm not going to chronology the shit out of this Raya.

Mostly because nothing really happened.

Just a lot of gossiping and me giving weird side-eye to the new addition members of the family.

I am indifferent to them but they were trying to communicate with me and be nice with rainbows and kittens to me, I CANNOT.

I'm like a villain that doesn't like being treated nicely by people that I am indifferent to.

AND yes. Someone did make a joke about me being a pharmacy student. Har har.

There was a drama at the end.
We just wanna go home, back to the real life but some people really want to stay in the happy hour for just a little while because they just arrived and really like the Wonderland.

But that's all water under the bridge now. We don't talk about that.

This year, dishes were meh. Tok Uda's house is the most disappointing of all. I was starving by the time I arrived at the house and all they served was durian.

I don't even feel like eating durian. I want some REAL MEN food not some mushy fruit that smell like rotten egg.

I was actually cranky during this Raya holiday. I think it's because I haven't eat a good burger for more than a month.

Still haven't by the way.

On a good note, this Raya we had less people in the house. Meaning I get to sleep in a room where adults don't screech at the top of their lungs, "VIRGINS! GET UP. NO APPROPRIATE VIRGINS SLEEP LATER THAN 7AM."

I really hate my virginity everytime someone woke me up that way.
I think I hate my virginity everytime I see makciks.




Malaysians have a high expectation for us virgins to act a certain way.
They never had any expectation about the male virgins though. Most probably because their virginity aren't that valuable.

Anyway, I was really ecstatic of having a new sleeping place. It's the best part of 2013 Raya until a certain family that shall not be named returned from their *scoff* 'homestay' and snatched back my favourite new sleeping place. I'm still bitter about that.

Secondly, almost everyone gave RM10 for duit raya. I feel loved.

Another high point of Raya was the night we watched a Japanese movie, Kimi Ni Todoke.
I melt.

I might overreact with Kazehaya-kun but truly, I really do want a guy like Kazehaya-kun to myself.

I may not be innocent nor honest but I bet Kazehaya-kun would overlook all of that because he's perfect like that.

After the whole debacle of who is perfect for Kazehaya-kun between us three, Qila decided to tweet us pictures of him in the middle of the night.

We fought over him until we fell asleep. I'm not letting him go. I'm stuck to him like GAM GAJAH.

The movie itself is surprisingly good for a romcom movie. I didn't cry but it really touched me spiritually because c'mon you guys, I AM SADAKO with the socially awkward, loner and suck at all sports.
I need his smile on this blog because of reasons.
Where can I find my own Kazehaya-kun?

I also learned a new skill during this Raya. I finally overcome the photoallergic in me by making stupid faces. Leha was super pissed at us making stupid face. She took this selfies really seriously. Her face is the same in every single photo of us.

I wish I was photogenic as her but I'm not because I was born this way,baby.

Now, I will never stop herpderp.

Tonight, I actually do miss Raya.

But then again, I say that everytime.