I Need The Darkness, The Weakness, The Sadness.

Status: That empty, hollow feeling is eating me alive.
Song: My Skin by Natalie Merchant.

I'm not really someone who goes all depressed for weeks. I am usually someone who will be depressed today and happy the next day.


I don't go emoing the whole week.
But I don't know why, this week is awful.

It's like someone decided to put this huge pressure on me everyday.
I was too preoccupied with the pressure of the unknown that I forgot about Glee, last Tuesday.

Yes, I watch Glee. I don't go, 'OMFG THATSHOW IS EFFING AWESOME!!' 
But I kind of like the show for the music. Not for the pretty or the plot. Glee's cast is not attractive to me neither the plot intrigues me.

I never miss out any shows that I want to watch unless the universe want me to miss it.

So that's a sign. It's the APOCALYPSE. ~The world is ending.~

It's not really I'm THAT depressed. I just find my life very pathetic.

Because I love to immerse myself in self-pity.
Pitying myself is worse than pitying others.
I might cry at how meaningless my life is but I don't really cry or THAT sad for real people in real life.

Like the Osama Bin Laden's death. I mean, in the end he's still a fellow human.
I should be sad for him. 
I don't.
Most of the adults (Read, Malay adults) were like, "I am sad for his death as he is also another human being."

"He deserved at least a trial in World Court (WTF IS THAT), not a bullet in his head." - Something like that.

And I can't understand that. He kills thousands of people. His death brings peace for those victims' families.
He disgraced Islam as in relating the religion with violence. 

How could I even be sad for him??? 
I know I'm supposed to but I can't. I don't have that empathy for him.

If you disagree with my opinion, I get it. 
It is what I think it is to me. I mean, can't we just have peace, rainbows and hugs in this world????

Then again, the first thing I did when I found out he's dead was to post this on Anis' wall.
'Oit, OBL dah mati. Sara nampaknye terpaksa jdi OBM. Hohohoho'

I am such a troll that I still snickered at my own comment.

Anyway, my life sucks ass.

I had to learn driving which is technically my least favourite topic to talk about right now.
I fucking hate driving.

I was actually dreading the JPA scholarship result this Friday but I man-up and told myself to accept whatever result it is like A WOMAN.

I was totally ready for it when my mom told me they postponed it to Monday.
So, yeah. Still pissed about that.

What am I supposed to do with all this 'Screw THIS shit' feeling I am having??

I tried to make this empty feeling go away by vidding. Well, that didn't work. Now I have my first angsty video in the making.

I tried to listen to music. Didn't work.

The only thing that works right now are sleeping and solving the Physics and Add Maths problems.

That is also known as doing homeworks for Ninja Turtle Aida and Sara teh Panda.

Now, I have to go back to school on Saturday to attend the Hari Anugerah thingy.
Yes, I am worrying about what I should wear like A GIRL.
My oestrogen hormone is running high this week.

But honestly, I just want to get over this Hari Anugerah thingy and let me download Supernatural.

I love my high school but  Supernatural >>>>> SMKSP. NOTSORRYTOSAY.

Supernatural... now that's another post.