Not In The Mood and Never Will.. Part 1

Mood: Emo..
Song: My Skin by Natalie Merchant

I am depressed. I've been mean to everyone around me. I'm pretty sure some of them are mad at me. I was a bitch to be around. Like that day I went to this really cool fish spa. I refused to go in the pool for 20 minutes. Aria and Little J were begging me to come in and I still don't want to. I don't usually acted this kind of way. I'm not a scared-y cat and I certainly don't back down from a dare Aria asked me to do. Little J even begged me to come in for the sake of Jensen Ackles, L (*cries*) and Ed Westwick and I still wouldn't. That wasn't me.

Believe me, I am disappointed in myself. I don't really like people being mad at me. I don't even like being mad at people. I was born to forgive and forget. If people are mad at me, I usually ignored the fact they are mad at me or I said sorry even though it isn't a sincere one. Sorry is a big word, after all.

There are reasons why I'm depressed though. Some of it doesn't really make sense.

  1. I'm having a cold. I can't breath.
  2. The holidays are ending. This is probably the main reason I'm depressed.
  3. Just found out L died at the end of the story. This clearly haunts me. It gave me nightmares. I have never like someone who died in the end. There was Dean (Jensen Ackles) who died in Season 3 but live again in Season 4. I was crazy about this guy L even though he's just an anime character. He's soo weird but in a way that's the reason I like him.
  4. Kaka' moved to Real Madrid. This definitely a huge blow to me. I always thought me liking him was perfect. I love Italy and he's in AC Milan, an Italian club. Todd gave me a pillow of Kaka's jersey which is his AC Milan jersey. Everytime I looked at the pillow, it reminds me he's no longer an AC Milan player. It hurts, you'd know to have that kind of reminder every time you wake up.
  5. I see people leaving everywhere. It's depressing.
  6. I may have been listening to lots of depressing and sad songs.